Before I officially begin this post, let me explain what has been going on in HH world. I am personally taking the time to revamp this site as well as working on my personal site: HandsomeHansel.com.  I have also become a regular contributor to RomanceUniversity.org which was recently named by Writer’s Digest as one of the top 100 websites for writers.

 

For those who have been salivating for the sixth installment of Quinn & Sabrina’s “The Night She Had Been Waiting For” *WIP*, I assure you I am heartily executing chapter after chapter in the hopes of having their complete story released via e-book within the next 60 days. Side note…when I hit 300 likes on my Dance Of Romance FaceBook page I will post Chapter 6! (I have had over 1500 requests for Chapter 6! Thank You Romancers!)

 

Not only Quinn & Sabrina, but I am also working on “I Will Love You For The Rest Of My Lie” as well as Davie’s story. Davie’s story is one with which I have no idea where it is going but I know I can’t wait to get there. He holds a special place in my heart and I can’t wait for him to find his Soul-Needle.

 

I chose a short while back to turn my life on its head and do what everyone told me I was meant to do and what I felt in my heart was calling me to do… become a full-fledged writer and published author. I had no idea how all-consuming that world was until I got here. So, to my 42,000 and rising Fans, Followers, and Friends out there who have been patient, understanding, and loyal…I say “Thank You” from the bottom of my soul. I promise to not disappoint.

 

Stay tuned, closely. Things are about to get VERY interesting. In the meantime, I have something I need to get off my chest so, here goes!

HH

@DanceOfRomance

@The_Real_HH

 

I am and always will be, a Romantic. I believe in the Happily-Ever-After. I believe in genuinely being over the moon with someone for decades on end. I also believe with the soul of my core, that in order for those things to happen there MUST be transparency in the relationship. It simply won’t work otherwise.

 

Lo and behold…my Sunday paper arrives and when I hit the “Life” section, there on the front page is an article devoted to a website that provides fake girlfriends for men. I read through the article and, quite frankly, couldn’t get my head wrapped around the concept.

Fake Girlfriend

 

In case you haven’t heard of it, let me catch you up to speed.

 

There is an online site (which shall remain nameless until I settle on a lawyer that doesn’t snort when I tell him what I do.) which, for $250 a month will rent you a fake girlfriend that you’ll never meet. This girlfriend will communicate with you across the social media platforms you choose as well as send you a few texts during the month and even leave voice-mail messages you can conveniently play over speaker phone for others to hear.

 

While the website gives a few instances with which this makes sense for the average dude, they admit that primarily it is used to make an ex jealous.

 

WHAT?!?!

 

I don’t know about you but I don’t keep in contact with exes. There is no need to. So I guess the idea of hiring a fake girlfriend to make an ex jealous is lost on me. Maybe it’s my age, maybe it’s my life experiences, perhaps it’s because I feel games of the heart played after the demise of a relationship never declare a winner. I have learned there is an upcoming generation that is all about themselves so maybe that is a part of it. Because I couldn’t quite get it, I read the article again… and then again.

 

It turns out that $250 per month was their “basic” package. I shudder to think what chaos could ensue with the purchase of upgrades but the article did mention that you never ever meet your fake girlfriend. They will set up a fake FaceBook page, Twitter account, etc and you can even change your relationship status to reflect that you are in a relationship with an apparition. I find it sad, really, to have to pay a website $250 a month to prove you’re a loser.

 

What have we as men become?

 

I understand the need to get some sort of emotional revenge after a bitter breakup, it’s human nature, but actually signing up to a website which provides a pseudo female companion in order to, what? Make your ex jealous?

 

As a meat-eating, whisky drinking, ‘As you wish’ replying man, let me paint a few scenarios for you as I see them:

 

1. He breaks up with her and feels the need to prove he’s moved on.

My take…he’s not over her and should have never broken up. Plus…he’s about 10 years old mentally and emotionally. (My apologies to all the 10 year old boys out there.)

 

2. They decide mutually that it isn’t working for them and it only makes sense to go their separate ways.

In this case the guy is the epitome of a narcissist with a heavy helping of ego. He’s just being a jackass and I am pretty sure 99.9% of women would see through it.

 

3. She breaks up with him.

At this point it’s obviously much deserved. And he knows it.

 

So, in a juvenile attempt to win her back, he “johns” himself to Madam Phantom. Hell, at $250 a month minimum to send 10 texts per month and communicate on FB, I’LL do it!

 

This is emotional, revengeful prostitution for the modern age.

 

I want to be there when the guy stutters with his answer when his friends and family asks when they can meet her.

 

I want to be there when he’s signing the invoice sent to him and applying payment, just so I can ask him: “What the hell are you thinking?!”

 

I want to be there when he gives excuse after excuse as to why she has never been seen by ANYBODY.

 

Don’t think less of me because I want to see the crash. After-all, I wasn’t the one driving in the wrong lane to begin with.  I just feel the need to experience it in the hopes of understanding. I am a writer after all. Therefore I am plagued with unsolicited thoughts I have to deal with on a constant basis.

 

Most men have become pussified. (Not a word I favor at all but one which works here.)

Women want a Man and men want a Woman. True to the core, accessible, transparent.

 

Why is it that games are played at all?

 

When I read the article, I could read between the lines and hear what wasn’t mentioned: Men are pathetic, men are to be made fun of, men are losers. Dammit guys! Stand up! If you don’t think for a second that your ex and her friends aren’t on to you then you deserve what’s coming to you.

 

Let’s take just a second and give the process the benefit of the doubt and assume it does work in making his ex jealous enough to want to come back to him.  For whatever reason, his ex can’t stand the idea of him moving on and begins texting/calling him in an effort to win him back. A few weeks go by and eventually she forces his hand by telling him to cut off all communication with the “other woman” so that they can move forward.  I guess I see him sending a text to his fake girlfriend that goes something like this:

 

“I hate to do this but we have to break up. I am getting back together with my ex but I wanted you to know that what we had was special and I’ll never forget you. Hang in there as I’m sure you will eventually find the one you were meant to be with as well.

 

Ps: Since the month isn’t completely up, can you prorate my last payment and refund the difference back? Thanks.”

 

Now what? He’s broken up with his fake girlfriend and gotten back with his ex. The deception worked! Good for him, right?

 

Wrong.

 

Now he has to answer the inevitable questions that will come from his ex: “How did you meet?”, “What was her name?”, “Is she pretty?”, etc, etc. And with each question he answers he’s digging himself a bigger hole. All he has really achieved is getting back into a relationship with even more lies and deceptions than before.

 

Of course there is always a chance that his ex will eventually find out that he hired a fake girlfriend. What then? Will she feel flattered he went to juvenile lengths to win her back or will she see him in a new light radiating pathetic beams?

 

Help me out ladies. Help me to understand what this looks like from a female perspective. Leave your comments below as I’m sure the men who visit here on occasion need to learn what a woman REALLY want when it comes to transparency and honesty in a relationship.

 

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21 thoughts on “Just When You Thought Men Couldn’t Get Shallower

  1. HH,

    I can’t say for sure what I would do if I found out my boyfriend actually hired a fake girlfriend but I can tell you what I did when I found out he was using an app on his iPhone to send himself fake texts acting like some other girl was interested in him and harrassing him. I dumped him. There was NO way I could ever trust him.

    Great post!

    Monica

    • I would dump such a character too, not because of a lack of trust, but because a person like that clearly isn’t stable enough to be in a relationship in the 1st place.

      I don’t tolerate games like that.

  2. Great post! The fake girlfriend doesn’t surprise me as more and more we make emotional connections online with people we never meet. The next step would be a seemingly real relationship for show. How ironic if the ex actually moonlight as a fake girlfriend and gets assigned to the guy she broke up with!

    • Karen,

      The scenario of the ex running into his ex who is moonlighting as a Fake Girlfriend was priceless! Thanks for the smile. And thanks for stopping by!

      HH

  3. Looking forward to what you can come up with when it comes to your websites.

    Will the E-book of Q&S be free or?

    I don’t keep in contact with my exes either, do I have some on FB and Twitter? Sure. Do we talk? Not really.

    My exes are exes for a reason. I have no need or feel the need to make them jealous. As for what I want/need in a man? I already found him and he’s perfect in my eyes. Yes, perfection doesn’t exist, but just like beauty, it’s in the eye of the one who watches.

    • Soraya,

      The Q&S E-book is up in the air as far as price goes. I have a half dozen people in my ear with suggestions and they all make sense in their own way.

      I am glad to hear that you have met your imperfectly perfect man! And yes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and there is a reason for that.

      HH

  4. Wow! It just goes to show some people will pay for just about ANY service if they’re desperate enough!

    I can understand the wanting to make an ex jealous….I think that’s just part of human nature, if the relationship didn’t end of your own accord, of course it can be natural to want your ex to feel jealous enough to want you back, but to go to such extremes as to buy yourself a fake girlfriend?? Seriously, what is the point? Go out and find yourself a REAL girl….who knows, might be just what you need to move on!

  5. Linzi,

    I’m not surprised that a man would pay for this kind of service. They pay for strippers, hookers, porn so why not this? I feel that the more things guys are willing to pay for from a female the more objectified women become in general to them and the harder it is going to be for them to make a real connection with a partner down the line.

    Thanks for stopping by and commenting! It means a lot to me.

    HH

  6. I’ll have to tell the Husband Unit about this. We’ll laugh about it. And why make an ex jealous? They’re an ex for a reason, yes?

    • Mary,

      I’m happy to hear there are other men out there who will see the absurdity in of all of this.

      Enjoy!

      HH

  7. My dear HH: you nailed it with the comment: “All he has really achieved is getting back into a relationship with even more lies and deceptions than before.”

    Great article HH!

  8. I can see the fake GF might be handy if you were overseas/at war/lonely and wanted to feel “wanted”….I can even see using it to make an ex jealous – not that you’d want her BACK, but to show her you’ve moved on to someone “better”…so what? she left you for your best friend George! You’ve got BAMBI who texts you a lot and even smooshes with you on FB! That’s total revenge, I understand that too.

    I don’t understand why you’d use it to get an ex back though….there’s no way that scenario is going to work out well…

    BUT – can’t you see what a great story line this could be? The heroine, poor girl, is trying to earn extra money by being someone’s (or several someone’s) texting not-quite-there girlfriend. The hero has been at war for many months and hired a fake GF to keep him company and keep his sanity after his ex-GF sent him a Dear John Letter. After the war, he decides to look her up, meet the woman who has meant more to him than she could possibly know…..

    =)

    Oh the ideas are just percolatin……=)

  9. Welcome to the c3po girlfriend!

    I reckon some men would definitely be up for it. Probably some of the ones that live in the game world where you can lose yourself for hours and days in virtual reality (and even play poker across the table from women who defy the human female form, with figures that even their own body frame would never support!) I also reckon they would slowly start to believe that their $250 bird is for real. Scary stuff!

    They will put a face to their c3po girlfriend’s words, they will feel that maybe she says it to everyone (they’re not completely naive, right? Cough, cough…I say nothing!) but all that’s just to earn money. Between him and her there really is a connection, something especial – a chance!

    It’s like paying for an escort for the socially incompetent, isn’t it? You can have the illusion of a relationship, the image that you can keep a woman (and be interesting enough that she will even call you a few times a month and chat to you via facebook and Twitter) but you never have to make eye contact for real, hold a conversation, choose wine or make her laugh out loud (lol)! Easy!

    Personally I don’t get it, it’s weird, but one thing’s for sure, I’d text my husband and facebook him for $250! I currently do it for free and I’m a writer, I need the income! :-D

  10. Where do I sign up to be a fake girlfriend? $250 a month for a few texts and emails? With automation, I could probably handle 100 clients! Why, I could even hire someone else to press the buttons, and still make it worth my while. The words naive and gullible spring to mind, as well as sadly desperate! By the way,I know where they get those images of desirable women. I am a stock photographer, and was amazed to track one of my images being used on a dating site; and I know it wasn’t my model who had signed up!

  11. While I certainly don’t understand the need for a fake girlfriend, maybe it’s just easier than dealing with a real one. Shallow, maybe…but we women are not easy to deal with…I for one have finally found the one person that I love more than anything and he is not necessarily the easiest to deal with..he has baggage as do I. We all need to deal with each other..the key is open, honest communication…it’s taken me a while to find it with someone, and I for one and not going to screw it up. Who ever said that women rule a relationship needs to be shot. A relationship is between two people, not one ending up changing or trying to change the other…fake girlfriend, yea, maybe it is easier…

  12. Call me a softy, but I find this very sad. I can just close my eyes and imagine the extension of this (it won’t end here, of course). People buying fake husbands & wives (who are always out of the country), fake children (always away at a Swiss boarding school), having fake funerals for the fake spouses when too many questions start being asked. What a sad, crazy world we live in.

    Poochie

  13. Hi Hansel,

    That’s just tragic. To me it shows a real emotional immaturity that simply isn’t going to be overcome by normal means. This kind of desperate is just shy of dangerous – restraining orders are right around the corner.

  14. How interesting. I wonder who set up the business of providing fake gfs.. male / female?
    It says a lot about current culture; lack of connection with something real.
    Maybe males use this service so they don’t feel inadequate. Maybe it is a pride issue. The need to be in any form of relationship hides their vulnerability, deemed not masculine.
    Either way, there is a market for it…how very tragic is that.
    Jx

  15. Seriously this has to be a joke. No way on this earth would I lower myself to beg a man to get back to me because he had moved on! I have more self respect than that. If I dumped him, why would I be jealous in the first place? If it was mutual, I wouldn’t be bothered one way or another. If he dumped me, I’d probably think he’d been seeing her behind my back, especially if it was quite soon after the end of the relationship. Either way, it would be good luck and goodbye!
    The only way an ex could win me back is by fighting for the relationship and making me rethink the reasons behind it ending on the first place. Taking the easy way out is not the way.

  16. I think it’s not only pathetic on the mans part, but also on this websites. Way to go, you found another avenue in which you can take some ones emotional pain and use their poor judgement to make some sort of profit for yourself. I believe you’re dead on when you say questions will be asked and said guy will simply be digging himself into a deeper hole. It’s utterly repulsive and pathetic that someone would even think of this. Remember the golden rule, treat others the way you wish to be treated.

  17. I don’t know about making an ex jealous but I have girlfriends that exclusively date “attached” men. Karma 1 – me generation 0.

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