Here’s what sucks about this post… I have to take time to write it at all. For over three years I’ve established friendships, I’ve acquired acquaintances, and there are a number of you I would jump in the middle of a monkey knife fight for. Yet, it seems I’ve pissed ONE person off so I feel the need to write this post.
Currently I have over 42,000 followers and I cherish all of you. However, it makes it hard to respond to each and every one of you. There is nothing more in my heart I’d like to do than to interact with all of you on a constant basis.
Any time I have a post I’ve put up on either my personal site or on the RomanceUniversity.org site, I will send out Tweets to about 200 of my closest followers. Two weeks ago, one of my first followers sent me a rather vial tweet regarding the fact I sent her a tweet asking for her opinion on a post. For the previous three years (yes I’ve done the math) I have suggested people follow her 1,003 times. I have asked her opinion on a post of mine 39 times. I have retweeted her 497 times. And, honestly, haven’t favorited a single tweet of hers.
Perhaps she’s going through something or maybe she finally chose to speak up, I’m not 100% certain. What I am certain about is that I absolutely refuse to upset any one of my friends, fans, or followers. There are less than .05% of you who receive a direct request from me. You truly are my inner circle. The ones I cherish the most, the ones I respect without doubting your intention. I don’t care if you have 1 follower or 1 million. Within the last three years I’ve learned where your heart lies and I’ll champion it with you.
I have proven myself in helping to promote other artists on my Twitter timeline as well as my blog. Quite frankly, I’ve promoted others before myself. I’m not looking for a pat on the back here I’m simply stating a fact. I’m a HUGE promoter of others. Which is why I was so pissed to get the tweet I received by someone I had helped for over 36 months.
She jumped down my throat with a “how dare you send me…” blah, blah, blah tweet. I took it in stride and rather stupidly replied to it. I received an electronic earful afterward to the point of twitter-blocking one of my first followers.
Once she was blocked, she infiltrated my FaceBook page and needed to be blocked from there as well.
I’ve been told these are the things to expect as my book comes to fruition. Yet…I’m not of the heart to piss someone off. Therefore, this is my appeal to those reading this…
I have a VERY thick skin. If you don’t want to be within my inner circle of friends, DM me and I’ll take you off my list. No harm no foul. And definitely no ill feelings. Guaranteed. However, if you are reading this and WANT to be added to my inner 2% then DM me and I’ll add you.
Social Media is an education in flux. We are all learning. We are all bobbing and weaving, depending on the circumstances…understandably. My purpose with this post is that I don’t want anyone who doesn’t want to be here to be here. Tell me, bow out, run. I don’t judge. What I do do is support, promote, help for the lifetime of…anyone who sticks around.
Loyalty is in my DNA. Quite frankly, to a fault. Ask around.
So to those who wish to stick around…Thank You from the bottom of my heart. I promise to bring these posts back to Romance, Love, and Lust in the coming weeks and months. If you have something you would like a light shined on, let me know and I’ll help you out as best I can. (On a side note…I don’t spam or help others to.) Books, Blogs, Poetry, Articles, etc are the things I’ll help with.
I will ask that you send me your request directly through Twitter though. Or even my email for those of you who have it. If you simply mention it in your timeline, unless I happen to be looking at Twitter at the moment, I’ll miss it. You can add either @DanceOfRomance or @The_Real_HH into your tweet and I’ll get it.
When I started on Twitter three years ago, it was easy to keep up. Now…not so much. I apologize if something you wanted me to either comment on or reply to fell through the cracks. It wasn’t intentional.
Now that I have that off my chest, I’m going to hit the gym and release the rest of it there. I have a post coming up on Friday the 6th at RomanceUniversity.org. I’ll be tweeting my 2% with a link to my post and look forward to hearing your thoughts.
As always, if there is anything I can do for any of you, please let me know.
(Fair warning…this post is more of a rant, but I’d like to believe a rant with a purpose. HH)
I’m a busy man right now. Perhaps too busy for my own good. Yet…I’m going to take a moment and write my frustrations out over something which is such a common occurrence, I even heard Regis Philbin use the term Selfie, correctly in a sentence the other morning.
Ladies, please dial back the Selfie epidemic. I am a hot-blooded, red-meat eating (sorry vegans), whisky swillin’, woman lovin’ man as you will ever find; yet your Selfie is an instant turn-off. I’m talking about those bathroom shots… those alone shots when obviously you’re feeling needy of some attention. Please don’t do it. Call a friend, call a sibling, email a pen-pal. Dial back your knee-jerk response to unintended insecurities.
I’m going to come off all “dad-like” with this post but quite frankly I don’t care. Here’s why…
I’m no saint. Yet, there are men out there like me who genuinely appreciate the gentle solitude a woman’s touch and heart can bring. We can admire you, take you in, even mentally salivate when we think you’re not noticing. Deep down, we’re cavemen. Simple souls really, with fits of complicated chaos. Over time, I’d like to think we’ve evolved a bit but I wouldn’t be one of only a handful of men writing romance in a world of 7 Billion people if we had. Still…there is a reason for the cliché, “Why should they buy the cow when they can have the milk for free?” (Full disclosure…I was the recipient of that exact phrase. My response…here.)
You see ladies, as much as you think men want to see what you have to offer, we really don’t. Are we curious? Hell yes. Do we speculate and wonder? Oh yeah. Are we men doing what men do in these situations? Yoooou betcha. So why take it all away with a Selfie riddled with sexual undertones? Your camera-phone positioned above so cleavage is conveniently inserted into the shot? Or duck lips? Who the hell started THAT and thought it was sexy? Or better yet…and even more degrading, you and your girlfriend in a feigned lesbian moment. Does it get a guy all hot and bothered for a moment? Yes…just not the right ones you would like to be courted by.
Just so we’re clear…this is a two-way street. We have our Anthony ‘Weiners’ in the mix. Quite frankly, to this day I get the occasional ‘penis pic’ by DM on my Twitter account because for some reason they think, because I deal in Romance, that I’m a woman. (That is SO not an ok thing to do!) As men, we are guilty too. Personally I’ve never done it because I just don’t get it. Have I sent pics of me to someone I’m with, of course I have. But it was for them and them only.
From a Man’s standpoint (not a guy’s), we CAN compete with others but we don’t want to have to; much like yourselves. Therefore, your Selfies put us in a precarious position. If we are interested in you, do we REALLY want to compete with the other 1000+ guys on your FaceBook page who just watched your video of you Twerking with your girlfriends? What really is left for us to surmise?
Mystery, ladies. Mystery is the draw when it comes to men. If you want a man-child…keep doing what you’re doing. If you want a man…mystery is where it lies.
I’ve done the math required for this post… Age, plus technological aptitude, minus social responsibility, plus alcohol consumed, plus desirability of the opposite sex and… at any age for a man, it comes to the same conclusion: If you don’t wan’t to be treated as an object, stop acting like one.
I mentioned earlier that this post would come off all “dad-like” and it has. Fine. But for TRUE romance to flourish, it has to be intimate and there is nothing intimate once what you have to be intimate with has been shown to X thousand people on Twitter and FB.
This post was inspired by a Tweet I saw which read, “Well, son, your dad saw one of my Selfies and the rest is history.” I suppose in some circles that rings romance. It just doesn’t in mine.
Romancers! This is my first time with all of you. (so to speak)
I mean, I’ve never done this before with anyone.
So please…be gentle.
That doesn’t mean I haven’t wanted to do it.
I really have. After-all, everyone else is doing it so why shouldn’t I?
I suppose my reasoning is because I haven’t found the right one yet.
That is…until today. :)
Fellow Romancers, while my intro is tongue in cheek there is a seriousness behind it. I don’t do what I’m about to do lightly. Don’t get me wrong, I am a frontrunner of championing other authors, I’m just a bit gun-shy when it comes to singing their praises. I’ve tried it. Even had a page on this site which is now gone, titled: “Must-Read Blogs”. After promoting everyone else’s work and (barely) getting a thank you, I realized how narcissistic writers can be. MaryAnn Kempher is not one of those writers. She has been a friend, a fan (of even me), and a solid force in the up and coming world of published authors.
Because of all of the above, I am PROUD to share this space with MaryAnn, whose first Romantic Suspense Novel: Mocha, Moonlight, and Murder is now available on Amazon!
So…without further adieu, (clichéd but I want to get to this. MaryAnn Kempher!
Let’s begin by you telling us a little about yourself.
Thank you for hosting me Handsome. I’m married with two great kids. I live near Tampa, Florida and I spent my teen years living in Reno NV where this story is set.
Tell me a little bit about Mocha, Moonlight, and Murder. Where did the idea for your story originate?
Mocha, Moonlight, and Murder is Romantic Suspense. I tell people if you like Jane Austen and/or Agatha Christie, you’ll love this book. It has romance, and mystery, suspense, and comedy. The romance is very realistic, very friendship-based, and doesn’t come easy. Katherine and Scott were made to harass each other. Because they start as friends, and aren’t trying to get each other into bed, they’re not afraid to give each other a hard time, this makes for some very funny dialogue. Also, the waiting (to sleep together) ensures great sexual tension for them, and the reader. It also gives their romance a solid foundation.
Well, let me say that I have read it and was hooked from beginning to end. What motivates you to write?
Well, what motivated me to finis Mocha, Moonlight, and Murder was my family. Mostly my daughter who just turned 13. She was so proud of me and my writing, I wanted to be a good role model for her; to show her that even when things don’t come easy you should finish what you start. I keep writing because it’s fun for me as well.
Have you been writing long?
I’ve always liked writing. I never minded the essays and term papers required in school. However, it wasn’t until 2008 that I sat down at the computer intent on writing a book.
Do you have a routine when you write? A method to your writing?
Yes and no. I try to get in front of the computer every week-day by about ten am, but I’m not as disciplined as I should be. Sometimes I spend more time tweeting, or checking Facebook or my email account than I do writing. Then other times, I sit down and the words just seem to flow. I’ll look down and realize I’ve written a thousand words. Those are the best days.
Do you have any other works in progress?
Yes. It’s not exactly a sequel, but a lot of the characters from my first book will be in this one too. Readers could read this book on its own, but will enjoy it more if they read my first book first. That way they’ll feel like they’re running into old friends in instead of just meeting them.
Can you give us a hint about the next book?
I’ll tell you it’s set on a cruise ship. Two people have been murdered and it’s up to the head of security to find out who before the ship reaches land. Honestly, I’m really excited about this book. I really think if you liked my first book, you’re going to love this one too.
Where can your book be purchased?
June 11-15, it’s available on Amazon.com. for FREE for Kindle users.
After those dates it will still be fairly inexpensive, at only $2.99 for Kindle users. It can also be purchase as a paperback at http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B00CDNQ37Q?tag=wp-amazon-associate-20
Thanks so very much, MaryAnn for your time and insight into your current as well as next project.
I understand you can also be reached at the following addresses:
MaryAnn, I thank you so much for sharing your work with us. I truly enjoyed your book!
Before I officially begin this post, let me explain what has been going on in HH world. I am personally taking the time to revamp this site as well as working on my personal site: HandsomeHansel.com. I have also become a regular contributor to RomanceUniversity.org which was recently named by Writer’s Digest as one of the top 100 websites for writers.
For those who have been salivating for the sixth installment of Quinn & Sabrina’s “The Night She Had Been Waiting For” *WIP*, I assure you I am heartily executing chapter after chapter in the hopes of having their complete story released via e-book within the next 60 days. Side note…when I hit 300 likes on my Dance Of Romance FaceBook page I will post Chapter 6! (I have had over 1500 requests for Chapter 6! Thank You Romancers!)
Not only Quinn & Sabrina, but I am also working on “I Will Love You For The Rest Of My Lie” as well as Davie’s story. Davie’s story is one with which I have no idea where it is going but I know I can’t wait to get there. He holds a special place in my heart and I can’t wait for him to find his Soul-Needle.
I chose a short while back to turn my life on its head and do what everyone told me I was meant to do and what I felt in my heart was calling me to do… become a full-fledged writer and published author. I had no idea how all-consuming that world was until I got here. So, to my 42,000 and rising Fans, Followers, and Friends out there who have been patient, understanding, and loyal…I say “Thank You” from the bottom of my soul. I promise to not disappoint.
Stay tuned, closely. Things are about to get VERY interesting. In the meantime, I have something I need to get off my chest so, here goes!
I am and always will be, a Romantic. I believe in the Happily-Ever-After. I believe in genuinely being over the moon with someone for decades on end. I also believe with the soul of my core, that in order for those things to happen there MUST be transparency in the relationship. It simply won’t work otherwise.
Lo and behold…my Sunday paper arrives and when I hit the “Life” section, there on the front page is an article devoted to a website that provides fake girlfriends for men. I read through the article and, quite frankly, couldn’t get my head wrapped around the concept.
In case you haven’t heard of it, let me catch you up to speed.
There is an online site (which shall remain nameless until I settle on a lawyer that doesn’t snort when I tell him what I do.) which, for $250 a month will rent you a fake girlfriend that you’ll never meet. This girlfriend will communicate with you across the social media platforms you choose as well as send you a few texts during the month and even leave voice-mail messages you can conveniently play over speaker phone for others to hear.
While the website gives a few instances with which this makes sense for the average dude, they admit that primarily it is used to make an ex jealous.
I don’t know about you but I don’t keep in contact with exes. There is no need to. So I guess the idea of hiring a fake girlfriend to make an ex jealous is lost on me. Maybe it’s my age, maybe it’s my life experiences, perhaps it’s because I feel games of the heart played after the demise of a relationship never declare a winner. I have learned there is an upcoming generation that is all about themselves so maybe that is a part of it. Because I couldn’t quite get it, I read the article again… and then again.
It turns out that $250 per month was their “basic” package. I shudder to think what chaos could ensue with the purchase of upgrades but the article did mention that you never ever meet your fake girlfriend. They will set up a fake FaceBook page, Twitter account, etc and you can even change your relationship status to reflect that you are in a relationship with an apparition. I find it sad, really, to have to pay a website $250 a month to prove you’re a loser.
What have we as men become?
I understand the need to get some sort of emotional revenge after a bitter breakup, it’s human nature, but actually signing up to a website which provides a pseudo female companion in order to, what? Make your ex jealous?
As a meat-eating, whisky drinking, ‘As you wish’ replying man, let me paint a few scenarios for you as I see them:
1. He breaks up with her and feels the need to prove he’s moved on.
My take…he’s not over her and should have never broken up. Plus…he’s about 10 years old mentally and emotionally. (My apologies to all the 10 year old boys out there.)
2. They decide mutually that it isn’t working for them and it only makes sense to go their separate ways.
In this case the guy is the epitome of a narcissist with a heavy helping of ego. He’s just being a jackass and I am pretty sure 99.9% of women would see through it.
3. She breaks up with him.
At this point it’s obviously much deserved. And he knows it.
So, in a juvenile attempt to win her back, he “johns” himself to Madam Phantom. Hell, at $250 a month minimum to send 10 texts per month and communicate on FB, I’LL do it!
This is emotional, revengeful prostitution for the modern age.
I want to be there when the guy stutters with his answer when his friends and family asks when they can meet her.
I want to be there when he’s signing the invoice sent to him and applying payment, just so I can ask him: “What the hell are you thinking?!”
I want to be there when he gives excuse after excuse as to why she has never been seen by ANYBODY.
Don’t think less of me because I want to see the crash. After-all, I wasn’t the one driving in the wrong lane to begin with. I just feel the need to experience it in the hopes of understanding. I am a writer after all. Therefore I am plagued with unsolicited thoughts I have to deal with on a constant basis.
Most men have become pussified. (Not a word I favor at all but one which works here.)
Women want a Man and men want a Woman. True to the core, accessible, transparent.
Why is it that games are played at all?
When I read the article, I could read between the lines and hear what wasn’t mentioned: Men are pathetic, men are to be made fun of, men are losers. Dammit guys! Stand up! If you don’t think for a second that your ex and her friends aren’t on to you then you deserve what’s coming to you.
Let’s take just a second and give the process the benefit of the doubt and assume it does work in making his ex jealous enough to want to come back to him. For whatever reason, his ex can’t stand the idea of him moving on and begins texting/calling him in an effort to win him back. A few weeks go by and eventually she forces his hand by telling him to cut off all communication with the “other woman” so that they can move forward. I guess I see him sending a text to his fake girlfriend that goes something like this:
“I hate to do this but we have to break up. I am getting back together with my ex but I wanted you to know that what we had was special and I’ll never forget you. Hang in there as I’m sure you will eventually find the one you were meant to be with as well.
Ps: Since the month isn’t completely up, can you prorate my last payment and refund the difference back? Thanks.”
Now what? He’s broken up with his fake girlfriend and gotten back with his ex. The deception worked! Good for him, right?
Now he has to answer the inevitable questions that will come from his ex: “How did you meet?”, “What was her name?”, “Is she pretty?”, etc, etc. And with each question he answers he’s digging himself a bigger hole. All he has really achieved is getting back into a relationship with even more lies and deceptions than before.
Of course there is always a chance that his ex will eventually find out that he hired a fake girlfriend. What then? Will she feel flattered he went to juvenile lengths to win her back or will she see him in a new light radiating pathetic beams?
Help me out ladies. Help me to understand what this looks like from a female perspective. Leave your comments below as I’m sure the men who visit here on occasion need to learn what a woman REALLY want when it comes to transparency and honesty in a relationship.